Defining Happiness . . .

Many years ago my mother told me that happiness was found by making others happy. I think there's a bit more to it than that but she did make a valid point. We all know that happiness comes from within, that another person can't really make you happy. The people we care about can create happy moments for us but whether we live in a state of happiness or not is really our own responsibility. At least that's how I see it.

My mother's advice has merit because it does make us feel good to do something nice for another person. When what we do has a positive impact on another it also has a positive impact on us. We like seeing another person smile because of something we've done. It makes us smile too. It makes us feel good about ourselves. That's no small thing. The better we feel about ourselves, the more positive our self images are and the greater self-esteem we develop. I think both of those things are required for a person to be truly happy.

When we focus on another person we're also taking attention away from our own challenges. Too many times we become victims of tunnel-vision ~ only seeing the world in ways that affect us directly. When we broaden our perspective and consider other people and what their lots in life are, we often find we don't have it as bad as we thought. We begin to feel grateful for what we have in our lives ~ maybe a loving family, maybe a home we love, maybe a strong network of friends, maybe just having enough money to put food on the table. When we look around we quickly discover there are many who have none of those things.

I don't know if happiness can really be defined but one thing is for certain ~ happiness is an attitude. We can make ourselves miserable or we can elevate our spirits by concentrating on the things that are right in our lives. It's our choice.

Of course, there are times in everyone's life when tragedies occur, things happen over which we have no control. We're sometimes blindsided by events that suddenly disrupt our lives. We may feel deep sadness, grief, maybe even hopelessness or desperation. At times like this we may need help learning to see the sun instead of the clouds, the dawn instead of the darkness. But, given time and effort, we can move back to the point where we can again put things in their proper persepective. We often find that we've grown stronger because of the these unfortunate experiences.

So, in large part, it all goes back to attitude again. We can wallow in self pity because of small problems we encounter in our day or we can brush them off and start the next day with a smile, determined to make it better. I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, "Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense".

Have a wonderful day.