From the other side . . .

Do you recall when you were a child under 10 and thought your parents had the answers to everything? Remember how you counted on them to solve every problem? You trusted they would always know what to do ~ no matter how dire the circumstances seemed to you. They seemed bigger than life ~ the anchor of your well-being. A hug, a kiss, a word of reassurance from them and everything was okay again.

How old were your parents then? In their twenties or thirties? Maybe early forties? Thank goodness we didn't understand that they, too, were often insecure, unsure and had a million questions of their own that were unanswered. LOL Many times I'm sure they were just as scared as we were. But, they put up a great front and none of us ever believed for a moment that they couldn't fix whatever needed to be fixed.

I can remember times when my children were small, incidents frequently arose that I really wasn't sure how to handle. But, since parenthood doesn't come with an instruction book, I just did the best I could. Did I make mistakes? Certainly! Did I ever say to myself, "I want my mother!" Of course! After all, my mother had all the right answers . . . didn't she?

You have to be a parent yourself before you truly understand what you owe your parents. Only then can you appreciate the uncertainty, the sleepless nights, the hopes and dreams they experienced as they stuggled to raise us to be good people capable of contributing something to our world.

Until you have your own children you can't understand the fear and apprehension that accompanies parenthood. Remember the first time you let Jimmy walk to school alone and were so scared he'd get lost or that some predator would take him? Remember how you worried that Janie would be lost in the forest or drown in the lake that first time she went on a camping trip without you? Even when kids are just toddlers, parents have a million worries ~ Bobby could fall down the stairs . . . Susan could choke on a toy . . . if you turn your head for a second, John could slip into the pool. Even eating has its risks! So, you cut all food in tiny little pieces and watch nervously as your "baby" picks it up in his chubby little fingers, turns it over and over as he examines it and finally pops it into his mouth. Each time he doesn't choke you breathe a real sigh of relief.

Remember the first outing to the park or playground? The swing, the slide and the teeter-totter all seemed like monsters with the sole purpose of maiming your child! Then, how about that first bike? Oh dear! A whole new category of worries! But they're nothing compared to those you experience when the time comes for your child to drive and ride in cars with his friends. That's just a total nightmare. There are dates, parties, sleep-overs, trips to the mall ~ all filled with dangers only a parent can understand.

All of this presents a real conundrum for parents. On one hand, you want to raise your children to be independent and become good, responsible adults, capable of making sound decisions. On the other, it's torture to let them do the things that will give them the experience they need to learn how to function independently in the world. So, you convince yourself to let go and just pray!

But meanwhile, at least until they finally figure out otherwise, your children never suspicion what's going on inside your head, don't suspect what fear reigns within you when Mary is 20 minutes late getting home . . . when Jake's fever spikes to 103° in the middle of the night . . . when Jessica falls and knocks out a tooth . . . when Sam gets poked in the eye with a stick . . . when Callie comes screaming in the house with blood dripping from her head . . . or, when the police call at 10 pm to say Hank's been involved in an auto accident. Nope, they sure don't ~ you have your "parent" face on! The face that says you're in control, you know exactly what to do, and everything will be fine.

Isn't it amazing that we fool them as long as we do??